my lord

i just wanted to take this time to say thank you to God.

not even 3 days ago i realized i really needed a new job.
and i already have one.

i prayed that God would help me, and talk about instant results.

Thursday was an AMAZING day.

i got an interview, and immediately hired, to First Revenue Insurance.
i met a new friend.

and i even got onto the radio show that i had been trying to get on for over a week!

i know thats silly.
but i did.

it was Mix 102.9 and it was a dream interpertaion show and i wanted to know why i kept having dreams about Heath Ledger.

and i was on the radio! and i told my dream! and he told me what it meant! :D
it was all so excitng.

thank you Lord!

hate it!

i hate my job.
it makes me sad because i used to LOVE my job.
i really really did. but now i hate it.
i hate it because i dont trust the people i work with. but why should i? there's THOUSANDS of dollars stollen every year from our company, from the employees. so really, it would be stupid to trust them!

but its not that i dont trust them financially. its that i dont trust their character.
i only really trust two people that i work with. my best friend Fran, and Sandy.
Fran, obviously because shes my best friend, and Sandy, well, because she hates the job as much as i do.

i hate it because, obviously we've covered, that i hate 90% of the customers.
but more then them, i hate the people who work there. i could deal with the whiny bitchy needy women who shop there, if i didnt have to deal with the whiny bitchy needy lying whores who work there.

1. one girl is SO annoying, she makes me want to shoot myself in the foot and slowly bleed to death. focusing on the blissful pain and not her nasaly voice.
and she's dumber then fuck! i mean, the things she says are just @*($)@*!& OMG! there are no words!

2. girl #2. i think we would be friends if we didnt work together. but we do. and she doesnt do the things that i tell her, rather, she tells ME what to do. and im like. uh, hello? IM the manager! shut up and clean! but she doesnt. and she says the most vulgar things.... all the time. i can't even repeat them. EW! clearly not raised as a lady.... rather a foul mouthed whore.

3. the store manager.
the head over the whole store.... OMG!
i have a 3 pg. list.
she is such a dumb, annoying, ugly, ignorant, fuck-tard!
she lies about everything. everything from how many credit applications we have, to blaming others for her mistakes.

she wrote me up today for not recovering the store 100% yesterday.
.... WHAT!
first, i had a 101* temp that night! BUT I STILL fingerspaced the store, picked up all the trash with the exception of one bin, in the b-room, bc i forgot it. i took the sensors to the back. Jenn vaccumed, did mirrors and hangers. it was ALL done. and she was like 'no one vaccumed. or touched the trash, and the store looked like crap'
BUUUUULLL SHIT! it did not. she's full of shit. FULL OF IT!

and i just can't work in an enviornment where there's so many lies. and gossip. and ect.
i hate it!

dear God, help me find a better job!
thank you!

only God knows

so.
i believe you remember saying that i DIDN'T like my apartment.

...i might have even mentioned the people who live above me.

well.

tonight, while we were asleep, the people above me began fighting, again.
except instead of it dying down after awhile, it never ended. they just got louder and louder. with occasional breaks. ..at least long enough for me to fall back asleep and be awoken again.

well. it got really bad, and so i called the cops. i figured it was PROBABLY nothing, but i was tired, and a little worried, so i think it was the right thing.

anyway.
it wasnt 5 minutes later, that the cops were at their door, ringing the bell, to which there was silence, then LOTS of shouting.

It seems that the guy didnt want to open the door, and he was pretty upset about the fact that they were there.
there was lots of "OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!" and "NO! ITS THE FUCKING COPS!"
and "OPEN IT!! NOW!!!" and "SHUT UP!" and "DON'T PUSH ME! OPEN IT!"

well. i guess they finally FINALLY opened the door.

my boyfriend and i (bc yes, i forgave him for the whole drunken absurdity... on the grounds that it WONT happen again, or we're over) left to go to the gas station and get something to drink.

when we got back, there was another girl walking up to her apartment, and she asked us if we knew what happened, to which we said we were worried about lots of yelling and possible abuse, and so we called the cops.
she said she saw 2 people in the back of the squad car as they drove away.

i guess they're gone now.
its quiet upstairs.

im not sure what all happened up there. but it wasnt good.
and i REALLY hope they dont come back here and shoot me :(

losing it

i've been with nathan for 2 years and 4 months.

99% of the time has been great. 99% of the time, he's the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend.... because i'm pretty sure that physically/emotionally, he meets both categories.

but 1% of the time.... well... maybe the 99/1 thing is not quite right....
maybe i should just say SOMETIMES, he really, really, REALLY gets to me.

and those times, are when he's drinking.

which used to only be every now and then.... but now.

everytime we go eat, he drinks.
everytime we go to the grocery store, he wants something to drink.
everytime he comes over on a weekend, he at least WANTS to drink.

i found out that he started going to the bar down the street from his house, and drinking.... alone.
isn't that a sign of an alcoholic?

i dont like people to drink alone. i think that's sad. and ridiculous.
unless you are sad... and or ridiculous.

i dont have anything against drinking, i love drinking.... in moderation and with responsibility.
and i NEVER do it alone.

i drink socially.
i wouldn't mind if thats how he always drank.
but alone? at least once a week?

and its not even just the drinking.
its the acting like a foolish child, while drinking.

i understand being drunk. and i know that you can't really help things that you do.... to an extent. but you know what, you have an idea of what you are doing. you should know when enough is enough.
you should know, that when you are rolling around on the ground in the 30* weather, in a t-shirt, you are cold and need to go in.
and why on earth be rude? i mean. really really rude!

i just dont understand people. really.
i just dont.

and anyway.
i feel hurt, embarrased, and in second place to alcohol. and i dont want to live this way.
i can't live this way.
it hurts. all the time. and im better then this.

nathan is my hero, my best friend, the one i want to marry.
but i can't do this shit.

he has to choose.
me, or booze.

......that was not supposed to rhyme.

shady place

so, im not so much a fan of my apartment.

pretty much because i live in the GHETTO!

the people who live above me fight alllll the time. and i don't mean little squabbles. i mean, they yell, and scream and throw shit.
heavy shit.
because i hear it at all times of the night.
i really should call the cops next time. because they scare the shit out of me. there will be yelling yelling yelling, then a big bang, then silence... a few minutes later, crying.

and the people who live somewhere above and further down then me... i think... OMG i hate them.
they only show up in the middle of the night and talk really really loud. but i can't understand a thing they are saying.
im not racist AT ALL, but holy shit. its like they're always drunk. and i don't know what they are saying, but its all mumbled and jumbled up and unintelligable.

and its not uncommon to be solicited by homeless drunks, or cat called by half naked 60 yr old mexican men, or see mexican ninjas.... dont ask. because i dont even know!

plus the toilet ALWAYS leaks. there are bugs ALL the time.

anyway.
i hate it!

but im moving in with my best friend and boyfriend soon. as in, a couple of months.
so im REALLY excited about that.

F*** FAT B*TCHES!

a new day, a new blog.

anyone remember Xanga??? im really missisng XANGA right now.

********WARNING!!!! IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED DO NOT READ!!!************

ok.
so.
i would like to start off by saying, "FUCK FAT BITCHES!!!!"

i fucking hate FAT BITCHES!

my job, basically revolves around these giant burdens on society, and i am SO over it.

i have nothing against fat people. no.
hell, im fat!

no... its just the fat bitches that i have to deal with every single day of my life.

want to know why i hate fat bitches???

1. they smell. OMG the smell. someone needs to tell these women, that deoderant isnt JUST for you under arms anymore. you need to lather that shit under your big ass titties. you need to rub a little under those back rolls, and go ahead and apply btw your christmas ham thighs. because God knows, shit is growing in the crevices. and it is nasty! no one wants to smell your fishy lips... you know which ones im talking about... when you waddle up in a store.
no.
no we dont

2. cheap. every one of these MFRs are CHEAP! i'm sorry that it takes 6 extra yards to make a pair of pants for you size 32 ass, then it does for someone's ass at Old Navy, so sorry, that you have to pay for that. and you know what??? im sorry that you think $6.99 is too much for a 100% silk, hand embroidered (orig. $200) dress, but you need to take your fat ass somewhere else!

3. Rude! now WHO on earth said it was ok to take a top from the rack, take it off the hanger, then throw it on a table and walk away?? who said it was ok for you to reach behind the counter and grab MY personal buisness sheets?? who said those coupons, BEHIND the counter! were yours?? NO that magazine is NOT free, give it back, AND if your little paw reaches to grab your reciept ONE more time before its done printing, you're going to be pulling back a STUMP!

4. dumb. DUMB DUMB DUMB!! if the sign says "pants on sale" DONT come up to me and ask "are tops on sale??" is the sign says "all tops $12.99" dont come ask me if they're $12.99! AND why in God's name do you look at a price tag and say "How much is this??" YOU'RE LOOKING AT IT! IF IT SAYS $49.50 IT'S FUCKING $49.50!!!!

5. titties. i have seen more boobs at my job then a strip club owner. i do not want to see your boob job. i dont care if they are bigger or smaller then they were. no i do not want to help you take off/put on your bra. no, you do NOT have to take your shirt off to have a bra fit, NO! do not open your door topless! NO NO NO NO!

6. returns. OMG RETURNS! if that shit has been sitting in your closet since 2004, DO NOT bring it back. If you wore that bra 6 times and just dont like it anymore, DONT bring it back. if you bought a bunch of clothes, kept the reciept, wore them for a few months and lost weight DONT BRING THEM BACK! if it smells like smokey perfume covered cat piss DONT BRING IT BACK! if you spilt something on it, if it ripped bc your fat ass couldnt fit in it, if you bought it years ago, DONT BRING IT BACK!!!

7. children. omg, you KNOW you're a bad mother when your child poops on the floor because they're mad at you, and that does not surprise you. if your child is old enough to speak complete sentences, does not wear diapers, and ties they're own shoes, take that GD pacifier OUT OF THEIR MOUTH!! if your child can say ANYTHING take that nipple of yours out of their mouth! i do NOT want to hear about how you breast fed your child until they were four! SICK! YOU SICK M*FR!!


UGH! i HATE HATE HATE fat bitches! as;lkdjfklasdjfgklasjgklasjgadksj! HATE THEM!




....the end :)