the truth

when i was a little girl, i remember going to my cousin's wedding. She was fat.

i remember looking at her in her wedding dress and thinking, "there is hope. Fat girls do get married, and one day i will too"

how sad is that?

maybe fat girls can find love.

but depressed, hypocondrial, fucked up, some how narcisistic, fat lushes do not.

so i will forever be the lonely old chihuahua maid.
and i should just learn to live with that.

single

so.

its over.

last time i said that nathan decided we should see other people...

well.

SINCE THEN!

we changed, went back to just plain dating.

then shit happened, and we went back to an "open" relationship.

THEN more shit happened, and now its over.

well. he doesnt know it yet. but it is.

i cant do it.

i mean. no.

the more i think about it, the more i wonder WTF i was thinking in the first place.

i know some will disagree with me, but i fimrly believe that you should live with a person before you decide to get married.

because, if it turns out they are an apthetic slob, who doesn't give a shit about shit. well, you just might not be able to make it work.