nothing new today.

i was going to write because the BF was gone... but i think i just heard his LOUD ASS car pull up.

speaking of cars that are ridiculously too loud for no reason, there was this BIG truck outside, and it was sooo loud, it shook our mirrors. **mind you, we live on the 3rd floor**

and Fran had her window open. you could smell the exhaust inside our living room :(

gross.

well, nate's not home ((my dog just peed... i know this bc i can smell it... gross again))

he just called me from the gas station to tell me that they dont have any grape soda, which means no purple cows :(

its ok though. i really dont need a purple cow. ...i guess.

i would probably spend a long time writing things in here that actually matter, if i thought that it mattered at all.

really the only reason i blog, is so that i can pretend that i have a friend who listens.

you see, lately, ive been really down.

all my life, ive had a whole group of friends, not always the same ones, but never less than at least 5 good ones at any given time.

but at this point, i cant even name one.

i know nathan is my friend, but i dont tell him everything. i cant. he wouldnt understand, and even if he did, he would find someway to make fun of me, even if he didnt mean to.

i dont really care to talk to him like that.

and then there's fran. but more often than not, i just feel like she's mad at me for some reason or another.

i love her, and i know that if i have a problem with her, i can tell her and we work it out. but the truth is, the only real problem i think is my own insecurity.

and then there'smy emilys. i love them both. Bailey is and forever will be one of my besties, but its hard when she's hundreds of miles away.

and jenna, christyna, maetzin, susan... oh, i dont know.

all these people ARE my friends, but not like it used to be. but it cant be like that. we all live our seperate lives, in seperate places, and try to catch up when we can, but its not possible to be the way it was.

i guess i've just been really lonely. i just would like someone un biased to talk to.

so that's why i have YOU! my blog.

till i forget about you again.